flirting with a man at a bar

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

me: hey lemme see ur phone I’ll put my number in

unsuspecting fool: hahah sure *hands me his phone*

me: *transfers his entire Pokemon Go team to myself*

fool: what the fuck?

me: *rips my jacket open to reveal a sensible tee with a large bedazzled letter R* TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVISTA–

THIS WILL SO BE ME!!!!!